All day today, I have been reading the reflections of friends and others. People commenting on what they learned this year and how much they grew. People labeling the year as awful while others calling it awesome. Some are pretty detailed, talking about month to month achievements.
When I try to think back, I’m not sure I can recall month to month moments that you brought me this year. I recall moments. I recall dinners with friends, shopping trips and laughing till it hurt. I recall conversations that lasted hours and crying till my eyes were all puffed. I celebrated my birthday and birthdays of those whom I love.
I had mentors and saw people come through whom I never expected would. I reconnected with a friend I had not spoken with in 16 years and it was if no time had passed. I learned to move forward and learned from those around me. Learned communication and team work and tried to understand. I’ve realized strength I never knew I had. I had co-workers who amazed me and talked me down from a rant. The students I have worked with thrilled me always. Watching their accomplishments, hearing the words, “I get it” or “I did it” or as one student so eloquently put, “holy crap, I think I get this” brought tears to my eyes. No matter how stressed work gets, the kids will always make it worth your while even when they’re the reasons your stressed.
2015, you brought new friendships and negativity was deleted and/or blocked. I learned to try to look at the positive and am starting to not be self deprecating. I’m learning to stand up for myself, use my voice and make myself heard. I learned to be positive, to know my worth and realize that other people’s opinions of me do not matter as much as my own. I know the truth and the people who truly know will always be there in the end.
I’ve written and yelled and screamed and laughed till it hurt. I cried at television shows and radio ads. I binge watched television shows and live tweeted about events. I have contradicted myself and owned up to errors of the past. I have cooked things, been successful in things and fell sometimes literally. 2015, you shocked me, disappointment me and made me soar.
Now that you are leaving, I must say I don’t really do resolutions, promises or things I shall do. I’ve never been a planner. I just plan on moving forward as I’ve been given another year. Another day to make things better. I’ll try to go out more. I’ll ignore negative comments and listen when the criticism makes sense. I will immediately delete or block people who simply use their words as weapons meant to destroy. I will take positivity and learn to embrace my own strengths. I will grow older and wiser and make sure the mistakes of 2015 are not repeated.
2015, you’ve been a fantastic teacher. The people who have come into my life and stayed for awhile and made it better, some left immediately and were not missed. There were some amazing dates with some wonderful men and some awful dates with some icky men. I have a job with people whom I simply adore. I have friends whom I love and friends whom I don’t see nearly enough.
I am making connections, making moves and doing everything possible to point me in the direction I’m supposed to go.
I would be lying if I said this was the best year. I would be lying if I said it was the worst.
It was year filled amazing highs and heart crushing lows. It was 2015 and here’s to another year of firsts in 2016. So thank you 2015 for the lessons you brought. I will carry those into 2016.
Happy New Year!